Building a Relationship with your Tarot Deck
Have you ever found a tarot deck that you are so excited for, only to leave it looking perfectly pleasant on your bookshelf? Perhaps you haven’t felt guided to use the deck because you have not made a connection with the deck. On the other hand, you may have noticed that some tarot decks “work better” than your alternative options. Instead of chalking this situation up as a bad purchase or even bad luck, it might be time to build a relationship with the deck. Yes, you read that right. Build a relationship with the deck.
Why should you build a relationship with your tarot deck?
Divination tools, such as tarot decks, have a personality and preference. Depending on which tarot reader you ask, readers have different perspectives behind this phenomenon. I believe that that one deck may connect better with certain spirit guides, while an alternative deck may prefer another spirit guide. For this reason, it may not be as simple as just building a relationship with the deck… but rather thinking about it as building a better relationship with your spirit guide that specific deck is connected to. Whatever you believe is the driving force behind a divination tool, it is important you treat them with respect and appreciation. This will lead you to have the more accurate and reliable readings.
5 Steps to build a relationship with your tarot deck:
Cleanse your deck
When I first get a new deck, I take the time to cleanse the deck regardless if it is a new or secondhand deck. I think of this action as a way to start fresh with the deck and explore the various cards within it. With a new model, I will look at each card individually and examine the artwork, I then shuffle the cards and place a selenite crystal on the full deck for varying timeframes (a few hours or a full night). For secondhand models, I will use a more thorough practice of smoke cleansing where I utilize incense, white sage, or palo santo to cleanse each card individually. Creating a new and clean atmosphere with the deck is a great way to show your respect and value to the energy exchanges you will be making in the future.
Carry your deck with you
To develop a relationship with your deck, it is important to understand the energetic exchange between a person and a divination tool. Whenever I get a new deck, I carry that deck with me everywhere. Even if I do not use the deck that day, I find that entangling my energy with the deck’s creates a new level of trust between us. This energetic exchange and trust helps support more accurate readings with the use of intuition and advice from spirit guides. While divination tools are not living creatures, we must still treat them with respect.
Interview your deck
In order to build a relationship, you need to develop a common language with your deck. As stated early, I believe that tarot decks align with specific spirit guides. This is why it is important to interview your deck, or really interview your spirit guide. This process helps me determine what the deck or spirit guide prefers to give advice on. While some decks/spirit guides prefer questions pertaining to love or relationships, other decks will prefer questions that have to do with financial or household advice. Taking the time to interview the deck and asking the spirit guides’ preference will help you understand when to use the deck to gain the most from your readings.
Have a conversation with your deck
One of the best ways to develop a relationship with your deck is to have conversations with the deck. Instead of only asking serious questions or emotionally impactful questions, try asking your deck simple questions in a conversational style. Low risk questions have you work with your cards, learn their language, and develop and understanding of the energy the cards exude.
Card a day
Regardless of the deck you are using, you should definitely pull 1 card from your deck everyday. The question you ask pertaining to your day depends on what time of day you decide to pull your card. If you are more of a morning person, you may want to pull a card to start your day and ask things like, “What should I be mindful of today?”, “What will be the energy of my day?”, or “What should I look out for today?” However, you might not have your life together like that Instagram or TikTok influencer… In that case, pulling a card at the end of the day might be more beneficial to you! Questions you can ask at the end of your day may include, “What did I miss today?”, “Why did X happen?”, or “What do I need to learn from ?”. Always consider your energy when you are deciding what question to ask and when to ask that question.
How long does it take to develop the relationship with your deck?
Unfortunately, there isn’t a set timeline on how long it takes a relationship to form. This process might take a couple weeks to a couple months to even a few years. Similarly to friendships, the strength of the relationship you develop with your deck is dependant on what you do with it and how often you do it. Take the time to try out these steps and you will find that you can read with any divination tool, so long as you take the time to develop the relationship with the tool.
Share your experiences, your own tips and tricks, or any other thoughts you might have in the comments below or on our instagram page @thehopefultarot
